I was hoping as parents we would never have to face certain things in life. Unfortunately and fortunately our plans and desires are not the same as God’s. Tuesday, July 21, 2009 the Lord decided to take Chance to be with Him in Heaven.
Is started two days earlier on Sunday evening. It had been a couple hours since Michelle had felt the baby move in the womb. This was not an uncommon situation. Often the baby would go several hours without any movement only to be followed by several dances, kicks and other random movement. Michelle and I decided to sleep the night and see if there was movement overnight or in the morning. By the next morning Michelle had still not felt anything and began to have growing concerns (once again, a normal occurrence). She decided to call our doctor and he had her go to the hospital right away, which she did. Once there, they could not find the heartbeat to which she called me at work and I rushed right over. Our worst fears were confirmed with an ultrasound, with which they saw the heart no longer beating. We had lost our baby. This brought on a frenzy of emotions and activity and the beginning of what would be a very sad, stressful and tiresome time. The doctor speculated the cause to be the umbilical cord had wrapped itself around the baby’s neck. After talking things over, Michelle decided to birth the child as she normally would have. Over the next several hours, they induced labor and gave Michelle pain medication. At 2:49am on Tuesday, July 21st, 2009 Chance Job Jenison was born. He weighed 4lbs. 6oz. and was 17.5 inches long. He was perfect, absolutely perfect. All ten toes, ten fingers and a cute little nose. Quite quickly the doctor had found the cause of Chance’s death. There was a tight knot in the umbilical cord which had cut of his supply. At some point a knot had formed and had drawn taught. While very sad, it was comforting to know the reason and that it wasn’t something physically wrong with Michelle or the baby. Chance was cleaned up and Michelle, myself, and the two grandmas all took turns holding Chance for a little while. After Michelle and I spent some time with him, we all said our goodbyes and they took him away.
I have seen my wife in an entirely new light. The woman that was laying before me that night had become a mother and it was beautiful to see. Her spirit, her physical body, her love and her faith remained strong and healthy, in fact even growing ever more, throughout this whole situation. I could not believe how well and with such grace Michelle handled everything. I couldn’t ask for someone better to go through life with. God has truly blessed me with her and I thank Him often for keeping her healthy through this.
We both are doing well given the circumstances. We both still have a roller-coaster of emotions going on, having good moments and not so good ones. We both have varying degrees of anger as well as joy, sorrow as well as hope. We are constantly asking ourselves and God for the reasons as to why this happened knowing full well that some things we are not ever suppose to know. We are trying to keep in mind that Chance’s life in the womb was a gift from God, however Chance was His to take away as well. God gives and He takes away… we accept that, it’s just not easy to. We are doing our best to cling to God instead of push away, as well as cling to each other and our family and friends.
We need to thank all of you, without you all we would collapse. Our family and friends have shown us great love and concern for which we are forever grateful. Thank you to everyone who has thought about us or said a prayer for us, they help in ways you can’t imagine. Michelle and I thank God continually for the support system from all of you, we are extremely blessed. Thank you.
If some of you reading this think the whole situation is a little weird, well let us be the first to tell you it is. We had and still have no idea exactly how to act, feel or think about everything. All we know is that this is the son God had blessed us with, and for a few moments we cherished him as if he were alive. We were able to take a few photos to remember the day our first son was born. You can see all the pictures on the Gallery page. One of these photos is posted below.
Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Thank you all, we love you.
Jay & Michelle